Had recently read 2 articles on 'last min runaway weddings' in Singapore
contexts.
Runaway brides in S’pore: Picking up the pieces (Part 2)
Not sure why, but I am quite interested in this topic, so I went
to Google about it. Not too surprise, this is rather common in our days now.
In case you haven read the articles, they are about the interviews
of a young runaway bride who backed out her wedding few days before the actual
event. She ran to Thailand. I trust there is still love in their 9 years
relationship. Thus, poor groom-to-be got 'ditched' last min and has to deal
with all the cancellation paper works and faces from relatives and friends. Of
cos, not forgetting the cancellation fees for all booking and definitely
the penalty fees to forfeit the HDB. It will be a very hard time.
I am not in anywhere in the picture so I WON'T judge their actions
or decisions, I am just looking at it from a bigger picture, because in one way
or another, many young ladies like myself are facing the same problem.
BTO in Singapore is taking at least 3 years or more to complete.
Condos are expensive for most newly weds, you can survive the down-payment but
you may not survive through the monthly maintenance. Resales are crazily
expensive~ Renting a flat/room means spending money with no asset. Staying with
in-laws mean unavoidable unhappiness ahead.
Why is building a tiny home for two getting so difficult?
Of cos, all these problem can be easily solve if one do not expect
too much. But wait? How many women will give up their chance to build their own
nest when stepping into their next stage of life? Changing the surname is
already a huge price to pay, of cos the future life should be good! I think for
men too, they want their alone honeymoon period, no matter how long it will
last.
To me,
step 1: get a flat
step 2: wait for flat
step 3: about 1 year before the flat is ready, propose
step 4: wedding preparation maybe 1 year
step 5: wedding, signed
step 6: move into new house
Everything seems to be following a particular trend.
I can't seem to slot in a step for
'I love her so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with
her!'
'The ring is meant for her, I can't wait to see myself put up the
ring for her!'
The story of 'Let's get married NOW' is hard to happen now. There
are simply too many things need to plan ahead, you just can't do it anyway you
like.
I am taking BTO in Singapore into discussion as it is also the
main topic in the articles, of cos there are many other reasons why a
‘soon-to-wed’ couple break off. (for example: The not so recent drama saga).
For most cases, when a couple is from an average to ok family, BTO
may be the only and most practical option to choose after marriage. Everything
is good if you managed to get your choice within the first few ballots. But I do
hear couples still couldn’t get a flat after 20 over times of ballots. Actually
I don’t understand why it is so hard. Maybe just LUCK?
So end up many young couples went to apply for units, because the
adults are rushing them to apply early IN CASE they couldn’t get it then delay
the wedding… delay babies plans… no house to stay after wedding… blah blah blah….
These kind of cases are always the LUCKY ones, most of them heng heng got the
unit, whereas those couples who desperately need a flat couldn’t get it. Is
this some kind of joke?
Anyway, I just feel that the meaning of love and bringing two difference
person together to start a new phrase of life is turning into something erm… I can’t
describe. Getting a flat has become the obligation of marriage which shouldn’t be
the case at all. But well, this is also hard to prevent when are living in a
country when land is so so scared.
I am feeling so much for this issue.. because… I am feeling it for
myself too… wellllll……
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