Something is just Out of Control

I am quite a grow up now, turning 30 in no time. I am confidence to say that I have EQ maybe higher than the average people.

Why?

I would say that because I got the sense to tell when people is piss off with me, or piss off with somebody, or someone is judging me or someone don't get me or I don't get someone. I wouldn't jump into conclusion that you are an bad ass because you don't understand me. Rather, really, I will try to think about the entire situation, is it that something is wrong with me, therefore you cannot understand me? This is also the reason why I tend to be quiet, sometime coupled with weird facial expressions after any 'not so pleasant' conversation.

A lot of people will think that because I'm mad so I am quiet and showing faces. Of cos this is right, who will not feel a little down when got rejected in some ways or another. But rather than just being mad, I will say that I am actually thinking and observing 'what goes wrong?' Very much I will observe the people around me, what kind of people they are, their expressions and most importantly why they reject me or don't understand me.

I got into a situation somehow. When someone told me I can do anything that I think will help, as long as we can hit Plan A. Yup, so feeling very exciting, I do whatever I can to help achieve Plan A. I did, and I think will work. Since first time doing it, it is hard to tell its success rate too. Then turn out to be. "This is not what they want".

So.

Why bother telling me I can do anything I want.

It is disappointing.
Or maybe I got the wrong idea all along. You do not mean 'do anything I want' right from the beginning.
And I am not going to bother what you actually said/mean.

Joy is simple

Happy is not hard. really! I don't know how other people define happy. But I will say... "messaging someone on the phone and suddenly exploded laughing in the middle of a train" this is happy to me "so hungry throughout the day, then so lucky to grab the last pack of chicken rice" this is happy to me "Favourite song on the radio" "Prince charming got ditched by gf *omg he is single again!" "Want to buy contact lens solution from Watson and there is NO QUEUE!" This list will never end. Lets continue this list together...